Monday, January 21, 2008

Adjustment

I'm not going to lie, living with someone is hard.
It's hard when you haven't lived with someone for years and you have to adjust to that person's idiosyncracies and ways of doing things.
Now, add to the equation someone you love. It's not just a friend or roommate, it's your significant other, the person you want to marry. Now living with someone just got even more complicated because you've got so much more at stake if things don't adjust the way you want them to.
Add the stress of moving across country, not having any friends yet, adjusting to a new culture, a new job and you get a recipe for potential disaster.

Living with S. is hard or maybe it's hard living with me. I'm so set in my ways and my type A personality makes it hard to let things go. I hate doing dishes, and I feel like I've done nothing but dishes since I've been here with no help. It hurts his back so he doesn't do them and then refuses to listen when I say that it hurts mine too. When I bring it up, it's "all about me" and "why can't I just cut him some slack?" It makes me angry and frustrated and irritated, and I don't want to be. I don't want to be angry with him, I just want him to do dishes every once in a while. And I want him to make the bed. I can't help it that I'm anal about making the bed, but he's the last one out of it, and he's usually still in bed when I leave for work so I can't make it; and I HATE coming home to a bed that isn't made. It's disgusting and makes the room look dirty.
I know... I'm anal (and a little crazy.)
A friend on his volleyball team asked him last week if we had broken up yet; that really pissed me off. When I saw her on Friday, she asked me the same question, and said that she and her b/f had quite an adjustment when they first started living together. I think her situation sucks even more because they have another roommate. While she phrased it in the worst possible way, I understand what she was asking, and why she asked it. I remember the last time I lived with the guy I was dating (which was also my first time) and how hard that was; she's going through that now, plus one.
Time will make this right. Soon enough we'll adjust to each other and our idiosyncracies. On the plus side, I love going to sleep in his arms and waking up in them the next morning. I love kissing him goodbye in the morning and welcoming him home at night. I love curling up on the couch and watching TV at night in his arms. I love our life and the home we're making together. I just... love him.

3 comments:

  1. you can ask for more than surety in yourself. i hope things get better... as i'm sure they will. as you say... it's an adjustment, and adjustments take time :)

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  2. I'm so with you on the making the bed thing! As long as I make my bed, I feel like I accomplished something during the day (even if I stayed at home in my pajamas all day) and I feel like my house isn't that much of a mess (even if I have piles of laundry and dishes and other junk)!

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  3. I'm so with you on the making the bed thing! As long as I make my bed, I feel like I accomplished something during the day (even if I stayed at home in my pajamas all day) and I feel like my house isn't that much of a mess (even if I have piles of laundry and dishes and other junk)!

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