Saturday Night Confessions

• I like stress. Seriously... I do. I feel that my brain fires on all cylinders when I'm completely stressed out. If you asked my boyfriend, he would probably tell you the complete opposite, but my friends who have been with me for years would tell you that I'm a nut for stress and that I thrive on it. So it only makes sense that my life is high stress.

• I am a simple girl. Yes, I realize it contradicts my high-stress life, but I like certain simplicities. For example, I get so giddy when I get a text message from Boston telling me that he's thankful to have me in his life and that he loves me, or like today when he called and said he could use a hug from me. He doesn't say these things all that often, but when he does they are usually simple, and yet they fill me with the GREATEST joy I've known.

• I need to quit procrastinating. This again probably leads to my high-stress life, but I'm a huge procrastinator. It's my "thing." Procrastination for me usually leads to the high stress and when I perform my best work, so it seems to me that my procrastination leads me to great work. One day I'd like to test this theory by getting something done BEFORE a tight deadline, but then I'll probably put that off too.

• I love reading other people's blogs. For me, this is like peering into the lives of others without having to get involved. It's gossip for me, and I love it. My favorite blogs are reading about people's struggles. I feel bad saying that, but I think it's human nature to want to read about other's struggles so that we have something to measure against ours. Lately I've been reading a lot of blogs, and I'm starting to find my favorites. I've posted one or two on my links, and as I find more, I'll continue to post. I imagine that one day I'll want to get involved with these people, to comment on their blogs, invite myself into their lives, but for now I'm quite content just to read about their fascinating lives.

• I'm scared. I'm scared about a lot of things, but I'm really scared about the changes coming in the next few weeks. I am trying to play off how scared I am by telling everyone how great this is going to be, but the truth is that I'm scared because I don't know how it's going to be. I am always optimistic, and I'm trying to remain optimistic tonight, but it's hard to let go and put this in God's hands. I'm getting rid of everything I've ever known, and moving across the country to a city where I know no one but my boyfriend, to start a job that I'm not sure I'm qualified to do, and we don't even have a place to live yet. I'm trying to put my faith in God, and to trust that He will not fail us, but that's proving to be much harder. Then again, it could just be that I like the stress. :)